I love having hate sex.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
NoShamevember. You game?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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