I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
