i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
