You made me cry and you don't even care
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Drake has all the answers
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
