Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
