I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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