She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
