so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
