he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
