remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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