found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
