yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
