Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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