He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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