Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
