were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
