the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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