So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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