i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Im part way to drunk.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
