If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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