My Higher Power is John Stamos
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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