I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
