I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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