Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
