Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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