he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
