She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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