A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
