Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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