you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
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i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
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Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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