I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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