she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
