I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He kissed a someone with a penis
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
as a side note pls kill me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
