That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize