Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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