I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize