Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
