proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
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so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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