I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
