Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
