White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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