I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
