I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
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