I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
