Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
