Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
