Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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