so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He shit in the fireplace
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
