I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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