Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize