We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
