big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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