I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
