I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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