You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He felt like a one man threesome
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
