i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
