Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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