I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
