im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
