I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
