Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
