haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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